Beadu

http://www.livejournal.com/userinfo.bml?user=mostbeautiful

go there bitches. Love you all bye

I might get kicked out of heritage for the second semester. Fuck. FUCK. This on top of everything else. I can't handle it. I just want to crawl into that nice hole I have dug up so many times before and wither away. I have improved upon my hole. It now has cable tv and chocolate.
I feel like a failure. I am a failure.. Maybe I shouldn't go back. I should stop wasting my moms money as she put it. She already gave me the speach. Fuck after I reassured her this wouldn't happen...I'm such a disapointment I feel so bad.
ugh I'm an idiot. What am I doing with my life?
Maybe I should take the semester off and figure things out. Maybe I shouldn't be in Heritage.

I'm tired. I hate my body...Not because of how it looks you douchys. That's right that's a word now haha.
First shift back at Ekos tonight. I'm semi-not looking forward to it. But am. The fact that I will be sitting down doing nothing for 5 hours and getting paid $9 an hour makes me very happy. Also, I go into this knowing people hate and knowing I hate them and they know that to. Everyone hates everyone and are content with it.. That's how it should be damnit! I'm afraid I won't be good at it anymore though...
I downloaded Modest mouse, I lost my cd, its been lonely without it. So I made a pseudo not so pseudo angry cd. It's basically just PJ Harvey and Modest Mouse. I'm going to have a grand old time. Haha intensly hate people before going to work..
I have two jobs. Intense. First I couldn't get any, now I have too many. I think bluenotes might want me to stay on. If that's the case I don't know if I will be able to turn it down.. Extra money. Plus I might be able to swing both. Since at ekos you can make your own shifts I can just slacken there. But that gived me more money...Bluenotes gives me more experience though. I don't I will see how it goes. To be honest I really love Ekos. I'm really good at it, I get paid well, my bosses are slacked out and theoretically I get a raise every 6 months, is it? *shrugs* I don't even care that it's basically useless. Plsu gives me time to just escape. Wow, I am like the most hated person ever..A teleresearcher who likes doing it. Haha, I'm a bitch.

1. What did you do in 2005 that you'd never done before? Haha, let's not touch on that one..

2. Did you keep your New Years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I didn't make any last year, this year I'm making one to get back into shape and lose my holiday/mono weight. And to not be as stupid as I was in 2005..

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? No, but my aunt is pregnant.

4. Did anyone close to you die? No, thank goodness....

5. What countries did you visit? None but hopefully Patsy and I will actually go to Russia..We have to make it happen patsy!!!

6. What would you like to have in 2006 that you lacked in 2005? Common Sense.

7. What date from 2005 will remain etched upon your memory? July 7th, I got dumped and then had a great time at cindys party. She cut my hair drunk...Haha. Also the end of 2005 will be quite memorable..Haha, and how!

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Not ending up in a psych ward. Or dead, that one is always a good achievement.

9. What was your biggest failure? There were alot. That I don't care to mention

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Haha, I had mono for a month. That sucked. But it was almost cool in a sense because in the morning I got a sense of power when brushing my teeth. At the part where I spit I would look down and realize that my spit could infect the masses. Kind of odd...

11. What was the best thing you bought? my $80 perfum. Sad, but I love "I lovelove"!! Also my brothers christmas present..He loved it.

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration? Patsy, he can do no wrong. Plus he stays out of stupidity.

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed? Haha, best not to mention it on lj.. But in addition to that, my own. Not my best year... I handled things very badly. I'm very sorry everyone.

14. Where did most of your money go? I didn't buy many clothes. So perfume, Christmas, Face stuff..other things

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Work, but that got shot down. Then new years, that was cool. But the thing I was really excited for, 2006.

16. What song/album will always remind you of 2005? Mad world. Song at the end of Donnie Darko. Or good riddance by Green day


17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? - sadder
ii. thinner or fatter? - the same..
iii. richer or poorer? - Richer

18. What do you wish you'd done more of? School work

19. What do you wish you'd done less of? Being stupid.

20. How will you be spending Christmas? Family. Hopefully not in the hospital, hopefully with everyone there.

22. Did you fall in love in 2005? I don't know. I thought I was, but I don't think it was love. So no

23. How many one night stands in this last year? I hate you good.

24. What was your favorite TV program? Friends. I fell in love with it this year....So I guess answer to #22 is yes, I did fall in love

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? Yeah probably. Maybe not so much hate as I have lost alot of respect for, so much so that I can't look at them without getting angry...

26. What was the best book you read? Harry Potter or Wizards First Rule.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery? Frente!, Pj Harvey, Erikah Badu..etcetc Thanks goes to Ty for providing me with such awesome music.

28. What did you want and get? Action and a job.. Can I give some of that back?

29. What did you want and not get? Peace of mind.

30. What was your favourite film of this year? Rent by far

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? Went to "Le bop" and had a grand old time watching Mike dance. Haha. I am 18. Was(?) 18.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Lack of stupidity on my part. More common sense. More work efficient. More organized. Less emotional. More creative. Anyways the list goes on.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2005? Eclectic. I am content with what I wear.

34. What kept you sane? Sometimes I think That I really am insane.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you like the most? John Stuart. He is funny and smart. If he was a little younger...MMMMM

36. What political issue stirred you the most? Uh, the election? But I'm really not stirred by politics... Haha this comming from someone who has a crush on John Stuart.

37. Who did you miss? Everyone in Montreal. Actually everyone. It feel like I haven't seen much of anyone.. Bitches call me.

38. Who was the best new person you met? I met many a cool person. Can't decide on the best.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2005. Stop being so stupid, think before you act. Try to think of yourself when making decisions but don't let that make everyone elses life a living hell. In the same respect, help people but not at that expense of your own mental health. Friends will love you regardless of stupidity. Family can be surprisingly cool.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year? I will give you a song.

Mad World - Gary Jules
All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places
Worn out faces
Bright and early for the daily races
Going no where
Going no where
Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression
No expression
Hide my head I wanna drown my sorrow
No tomorrow
No tomorrow
And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
That dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles it's a very very
Mad world
Mad world
Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy birthday
Happy birthday
And I feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen
Sit and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me
No one knew me
Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson
Look right through me
Look right through me
And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
That dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles its a very very
Mad world
Mad world
Enlarging your world
Mad world

In 2005 did you:
1. Go to a party? yes
2. Try something new? yes...oh my gosh yes.
3. Have someone change your life? Yep, the bastards.
4. Kiss someone? ...Shut upa yo face.
5. Tell your family and friends you love them? Yeah, last night actually.. and this morning. Everyday.
6. Buy something extravagant? Mon parfume.
7. Do something nice for you? Yeah.
8. Do something terribly wrong? Ofcourse.
9. Move? no unfortunately.
10. Go to a concert? no.

Best of the Year:
1. Party: I don't know there were alot of good ones.
2. Show: Family guy was good this year. Friends is over, no new ones...But I did love it..
3. CD: The ones I burn for myself.
4. Movie: Rent
5. Song: Porno mouth by Holly mcNarland. Girl by Frente. Kiss me on my neck by Erika Badu. Oh my lover by Pj Harvey.. The list goes on.
6. Experience: I have no idea. The last few days were good...OH Vacancy in Paradise. Awesome experience.
7. Concert: n/a
8. Book: Wizards first rule or harry potter 6
9. Month: Every month had something bad attached to it so fuck you months.
10. Day:July 7th, the bastard set me free. It will be in the worst day as well. But this is the day when my life ended and began anew.
Worst of the Year:
1. Party: I'm going to have to say Cindys birthday as well. I was complaining about Dave almost the entire time. I'm really sorry. I remember good times at it as well though. Had I not been dumped that day, it would have been amazing
2. Show: Any celebrity reality tv show
3. CD: anything by Lindsay lohan, hilary duff, good charlotte, simple plan.etcetc
4. Movie: The aviator...WAit was that this year...All I know is that it was boring and I want those hours back
5. Song: "Dontcha" Pussycat dolls. Sure I like to dance to it, but as far as talent goes, the only one they have is when they are on their backs...The prostitutes...
6. Experience: Almost the entire year was one bad experience after another
7. Concert: n/a
8. Book: No bad books this year...Bad stories in english.
9. Month: can I say 12.. Decembers not so bad..So 11
10. Day: July 7th, the bastard broke up with me

Hopes for 2006:

1. Predict something that you think will happen in 2006? I will finally go insane..I don't know, my aunt will have a baby. I will grow up abit. Hopefully.
2. What do you hope changes about your country? Someone compitent will be elected. Fuck you conservatives stay away....-_-
3. What do you hope for yourself? More common sense. I need that.. Like common sense on a roll
4. What do you hope for your family? To be happy and healthy. No more tubes stuck up peoples noses please.
5. What do you hope for your best friends? I want them to be happy. Really happy. Not just like momentarily.
6. What do you hope for the rest of your friends? The same damn thing
7. What is your hope for 2006? That it will be better. Or won't suck as much

During 2005:
where were you when it began: playing nintendo.
Did you stay up: yep, I was babysitting, I thought it was my duty. Plus the nintendo was uber fun and addictive
what was your new year wish? Lose weight, not be stupid, work hard, get more organized, be healthy, happy
how many girlfriends/boyrfriends: 3
broke up: 3 haha
have any crushes?: Ben oui
care to mention names? Nuts to that.
new friends: Tons.
win anything? Uh, I got into a modeling thing.
best place you went to: Clubs I guess. They were fun for the most part.
worst place you went to: Clubs... They made me do many a stupid thing
happiest moment: Someone told me they loved me. Whether it was true or not, I was very happy that moment. The past few days haven't been too bad either haha Man it's scandolous..You guys would appreciate knowing I'm sure
how was your birthday:Fucking amazing. I loved it.

I have come here to make many an entry in between though. I will probably do that long ass stupid quiz though. Yay.
Reasons for coming back: There is only one..I have nothing better to do. And this is for Chrissie
YEAH 2005 is OVA bitches!
What have I learned? Probably nothing, but who knows.. Rumors travel faster when not true, but we all know that.
New years eve was interesting. I had fun for the most part. In between the puking, stripping down Patsy and thinking Cindy was incredibly pissed at me at one point. Cindy's boyfriend (haha keeping with tradition of not mentioning his name) kind of helped me with that one, telling me she wasn't and she was just emotional etcetc. Good guy, he is a keeper toots... So keep him?
We danced, we laughed, I couldn't get drunk.. I drank and drank and drank some more and I couldn't get drunk. It was odd. Very odd, most who have gotten drunk with me know that I am pretty much a light weight. But there I was consuming large amounts of alcohol very quickly and could not get drunk. Everyone kept asking me "are you drinking, are you drunk" etcetc. Slightly depressing, haha but not.
And Patsy, I love you you made my night. "Water is for the weak." Don't worry, everyone has these days, that night was yours.
We missed midnight but did the count down 5 minutes later. Then I got to sleep.
Chrissie, you throw a good party and make a mean cheese cake. If you throw another I think many a person would attend. They would pay to get in..Freakin' PAY. But yeah, thumbs up babe..Thumbs WAY up!
Bluenotes sucks. I have a shift from 4:30 to 9:30 tonight...Damn you bluenotes gods, why do you smite me so?!!?
Bye now!

Hey all!
Great news: I'm not going to post anymore! I'm trying to cut down on all the "woe is me" bullshit and I think this is the first thing that has to go. Wish me luck! I will still post comments and read yours and such. I have just realised that while trying to preserve my own sanity I was probably driving you all nuts. Not to worry. All that is done now.
Have great Holidays!
I love you all!
Over and out for the last time (haha I have to go out with something lame)
Laura
.....A week later "So I'm back"

I hate it when peoples sadness or hardships make you revisit those same feelings that you thought you had long gotten over. Then you feel worse because you shouldn't be wallowing in self pity, you should be trying to help or whatev. It's just...You think something is gone then BAM. Just like that. BAM

I actually really love going to see my cousins play hockey. I always get super into it. It's funny, my family is like the annoying family in the arena. I'm like my mom in that respect. Yelling random crap like "SKATE" or "GET ON HIM" etcetc. I also always feel this strange longing like I want to be out there with them. Very strange considering I'm like the least team sport oriented person ever. I think it's the yuppie from within. My parents coming out. Must be it. I want to go skating though. Been watching alot of hockey. I need to skate and get my fix. In another 5 years I will repeat this. WOOT WOOT!
It was weird. Graham turned out to be on one of my cousins teams. I was like "Woah, I know someone else." Usually I only know one person, so it was like a treat. I saw three games in a row. 2 of my cousins won, the other tied. Stupid tie though, the other team got a goal in like the last few seconds of the game. It could have easily been prevented *sighs* My cousin looked so disapointed, good news is though he got a goal! I was so proud. My other cousin got a penalty. That made me slightly agrivated. But he was pushed so CLEARLY had to push back....Clearly...*roll eyes* Anywho, for the most part it was pleasant.
I would say this is my yuppiest entry. Embrace the yuppy from within!

This was on Jaimes lj so I thought I would do it as well..Ah hell..I'm just bored...

Memories:

3 Years: Having eye drops put into me and being held down..I remember alot of smoke for some reason...

4 Years: At my aunts house, getting yelled at and yelling about how my cousin can kick my uncles ass... Odd one that was. I didn't actually use the word ass at that age...

5 Years: Being Jacobs partner as a snowflake in a little christmas pageant.
Also using the eardley school trees as maps with my bestfriend of the time Jordan.
OH and meeting Chelsey for the first time... Good year that was..

6 Years: Being in the remedial class becuase I wasn't able to concentrate properly. Also being picked on by a kindergarden.

7 Years: Playing Bonjour with Madame Joanne. Being picked on by my bros friends..They put grasshoppers in my hair.

8 Years: Getting angry at caito because we hated each other.

9 Years: My grandmother died the same day as my hamster. My dad called me into my room threw him up and down saying "I think there is something wrong with it" I was and still am appalled.

10 years: Getting pushed down a hill and left there by my friends and being called a baby by a teacher. Also the end of the year when everyone stood up to the class bully.

11 Years: Reading the hobbit in class and having to draw out all the characters. I couldn't draw...There are alot of characters...The movie sucked.

12 Years: Got ditched by many a friend this year, then met amazing people.

13 Years: Playing sumo wrestling in Symmes.

14 Years: Being dubbed Gretl for the first time and being acrobat woman...

15 Years: asking cheryl what home was to her and her response being "it's my...bridge over troubled waters" we had a thing with that song

16 Years: Being smaug and having stupidity grope me...also bio with cindy

17 Years: my first taste of alcohol...now I have to wonder..."Why?"

18 Years: Doing this thing and getting horribly depressed. When I read this later it will be a memory.


How times have changed. I wish I could go back and be good in school and not let everyone down all the time. But I guess that's just the way the cookie crumbles.

Holy Crap, I hate all things Heritage right now. I'm failing all my classes I'm sure. I maybe would have passed gym, but ruined that by getting kicked out of yoga.. Thats right YOGA!!!
Other than that..Uh, shut up.

I feel like crap right now. Like, emotionally and physically. I think the physical part is because of the emotional part. My stomache is in knots and I feel like I will be sick any minute. I guess there are many reasons. Ugh, I just feel like, I don't know, what's the point? I guess...But not. I don't know what I'm feeling and half the time my actions don't even reflect what I'm actually feeling or thinking. I think that's the shittiest thing of all. It's like everything I am doing right now in my life is for someone else.. Then I feel if I do do something entirely for me, I'm selfish or I feel criticized all the time. Like put under a microscope and just studied or something.
I need to get some uplifting mentra or something..Or another great great hobby that I clearly will NOT quit like every other hobby or course or anything that I have quit which is pretty much everything in my life so far.
Ugh whatev, I have to go keel over and die somewhere...Well not die but you get it...Ok you might not so here it is..I'm going to bed..

Waiting a minute until I can find out if I actually have to work. A part of me wants to, the other would like to stay home.
I have screwed over yet another project and yet another class. I can just see Melanie Takahashi's little disapointed face...
In other news, Bluenotes sucks.. It just sucks.

"Woe is me woe is me, everything sucks, everyone sucks, I suck, you suck we allllll suck, but its not my fault, never my fault..."
Sound familiar? It should because it's you. It's everyone, from teenagers to adults. Does anyone change? no. We just learn to hide our flaws more as time goes on. Then once we get old and senile we don't care to anymore so we get cranky and everyone just hates us and puts us in homes.
No one is right. We are probably all wrong all the time. Maybe we are all crazy. Like living in our own realms of reality that are just so fucked, but everyone thinks they are true so that's how it is. Then we throw people in mental institutions because they got too immersed in their reality and it didn't conform to the socially acceptable behavior. If I could be convinced that I was flying for all eternity I would be a happier person.

Have you Ever...?


Played "Spin the Bottle"?
No

Played poker for money?:
No

Gone swimming in a white T-shirt
Well I had a bathing suit underneath...That probably doesn't count though...

Been tickled so hard you couldn't talk?
Yes..

Liked/loved someone but never told them?
Yeah

Been camping?
no

Had a crush on a friend of your brother/sister:?
Yeah, when I was little.

Walked in the rain without an umbrella deliberately?
Yes

Told a joke that nobody thought was funny?
Yuuuup...Then you laugh at it and noone else does and you die a little inside...

Been in a talent show?
No, I was going to but chickened out at the last second

Worn something that your parents disapproved of?
who hasn't

Been to a nudist beach?
no, but apparently my aunt has...which is weird.

Cursed in a church?
yeah

Burnt yourself on a domestic appliance?
It left a scar..It hurt alot

Wanted to be a police officer?
uh no.

Dumped someone?
many a time

Been chatted up by someone "too old"?
yes

Wanted to be a model?
Lol...uh..Thing is, I'm in the classes, but I don't much want to be a model. Ironic no?

Bought lottery tickets?
I want to.. bad

Made love in a car?
No

Masturbated in a friend's house (without them knowing about it)?
No they knew about it baby!..right no that would be creepy

Cried during a movie?
Yeah...Mighty Joe Young always gets me...I'm actually not joking, there is something about monkeys dieing...

Wanted something you couldn't have?
lol everyday

Had sex on a beach?
no, there is something really unappealing about getting sand in the bum

Had the cocktail "Sex on the beach"?
Woah..I really haven't...Next time I go out I will...Thank you random computer gods...

Seen someone shoplift?
yes

Hung up on someone in anger?
Yeah

Had a conversation with a pet (presumably a one-sided one)?
Ofcourse

Bought anything "embarrassing" from a cashier of the opposite sex?
Well, I didn't find it embarassing, but maybe to them it was..So maybe

Tried to do a sexy strip-tease for someone when drunk?
lol no...

Been seasick?
no

Been "stalked"?
I'm going to say no

Is anyone actually reading this?
No...WAit is that an actual question...

Played a prank on someone that had them really scared?
..no, it happened to me though...bastards

Been embarrassed by one of your family?
OH YEAH

Felt bad about eating meat?
No

Been on an island?:
what


Been in love?
No, well...No, yes sort of, who cares

Ate just because you were bored?
Yeeep

Looked at someone who others have said is "ugly" and thought, "No they're not!"?
All the time

Made a loud noise in a library?
Yes..?

Had sex with with a stranger?
Apparently many...No I have not

Been dumped?
Yes

Wished a part of you was different?
Don't we all?

Been asked out by a someone you thought was really hot and that you never ever thought you stood a chance with?
Yup

Started a conversation with a complete stranger?
Almost everyday...It's what I do..as a job I mean

Caught sunburn?
yes...I caught it and threw it back...I am so sorry about that..It was lame

Thrown up at school or work?
yes..

Received an anonymous love letter?
no

Had to wear something you hated?
Yeah it was called a prom dress...

Watched a movie that made you miss an ex?
Yeah, it's called booty call

Been out of the country?
Yes

Been "wolf whistled" at by a stranger?
..Uh what?

Won a game of pool or snooker?
Yeah it was pure luck

Been to a party where you were the only sober one?
Yes, it was pure hell...Actually wait no there were a couple of other sober peopel

Been on a diet?
Not really

Been lost out at sea?
No

Cheated on a partner?
Not really

Been cheated on by your SO?
SO?

Sunbathed topless?
No.

Been searched in an airport?
No.

Been on a plane?
no

Bought something way too expensive?
Yeah

Done something really stupid that you still laugh about?
Uh...Yeah I think so YES i have

Been walked in on when you were dressing or undressing?: Apart from partners?
Yes

Been walked in on when you were masturbating:?
No

Left a cinema because the movie was too scary:?
No

Been kicked out of a pub/shop/mall?
Yeah by my uncle, because my friends were doing something...My own uncle escorted me out of the mall...

Pretended you were scared so you could cuddle up with someone?
Uh...No

Had a deer jump in front of your car?
no


Can you....?

Unwrap a sweet with your tongue?
a sweet?

Sing?
Yeah

Sing in front of a crowd?
Yeah

Open your eyes underwater?
Yes

Eat whatever you want and not have to worry?
lol no

Ice skate?
no, sad story

Whistle?
Yes.

Do thirty pull ups?
uh...i will say yes...but only because you didn't specify a time period

But really, who actually reads all of this?
noone, again was that an actual question?

Eat super-spicy or -hot foods?
No ruins my tongue

Skateboard?:
fuck no

Sleep with the lights on?
yes

Touch your nose with your tongue?
no

Fall asleep easily in the car?
Yes

Surf?
probably not, water scares me

Do the splits?
used to, now not so much

Taste the difference between Pepsi and Coke?
Yes

So, I had that model thingy on Sunday. It was pretty dull. I learned the "Perfect Posture," my skin type, my face shape, my type of hair, how to properly clean my hair and face. I like the face part, I have never been really sure, and I have never liked my skin complexion, so I found that part helpful. The hair part I couldn't care less about. The posture is hard...I have the worst posture in the world. We also had to learn to do the runway walk, needless to say I'm never going to be a runway model. Even if I grew like 5 inches and became anorexic, it just would never EVER happen. I can't walk apparently. Noone told me that ofcourse, but like, damn, I almost tripped over myself. Everyone there was nice and cynical like me so we got along swimmingly. I have assignments to do...Actual assignments.. Weird. Lol. Oh well, We also had to do like speech and voice projection stuff.. And we played a game that was like 2 people go up and act stupid trying to make the other person laugh and get kicked out. I won along with someone else. I took many a note and got a hand book. Pretty nifty. Not really. So that was my experience.

 I have been pretty happy lately. Saturday night Patsy and I hung out, that was super fun. We watched disney movies along with the muppets treasure island and played drinking games.

I have started doing Pilates again, which I am really happy about. I gained many a pound because of the mono and inability to exercise. So, now I am cutting down on junk food which for some reason increased a great deal while sick, by a great deal I mean like ten fold, it was really bad. lol For lack of exercise I compensated with candy, chips, pop, ice cream...etc. You get the point. So now I plan to be healthy and go back to my size before.

Starting at Bluenotes on Sunday. I'm getting a shit pay for alot of work. I think Bluenotes will probably suck. I will be helping children dress like idiots with patched up jeans and graphic t-shirts that say "Stud Maker".. What does that even mean?!!? But whatev. Retail experience looks awesome on a resume, and I get an employee discount. Their jeans do rock all (the non-stupid ones) so that will be cool. The people there seem nice too, so I don't know, I'm probably just being harsh. Maybe it will be cool.

I kind of feel out of the loop with people and want to hang out again. Winter break is coming so I hope that will help, even with the two jobs and modelling thing, I'm determined to make time for friends..I guess family as well...*rolls eyes*

Right, this was an incredibly flaky entry, but whatev...OH man I have to put the story patsy and I wrote during Ekos. We did like a story of taking turns with three words each, it's the most absurd thing ever written. We gave up the three words each thing half way through and did full sentences. The story makes no sense, the plot, if there is any goes nowhere.

So here it is:

"I went to see the old well near the old crazy guy's. He has a phoenix, some have said with wings others have said that he smells. In any case, he's old and crazy and lives in a mansion neear the well. The old well was very mysterious it was known to make things disapear without trace. As a boy, the old man hated himself. So he went to jump down the laundry chute which led directly into the dirty laundry which got brought to the laundry machine, however today was different there was no way it was going to ruin his suicide attempt. He, ofcourse, failed because he forgotgun and the well wasn't deep enough to kill him on impact.  But he met an elf who said  "I am an elf" then he got kicked in the jewels by the suicidal young boy with his foot. Elfy crumbled to the floor crying. Then a bunch of elves came and proceeded to drag him off to their land. Elfy was left for dead because he was greatly disliked, but the man, they decided, would still have to be punished for hurting one of their own. In a drastic measure it was decided he would be casterated. The young man being incredibly stupid, thought it would be fun, got excited about it and inadvertantly got himself out of it. After being released he shacked up with a phoenix and lived happily ever after or did he? No, he didn't. Yes he did. The bird was was desperate. But one day the bird police came to stop the beastiality. But it was too late he had become pregnant. How ever since it defied the laws of biology they discovered that that was bullshit and he was in fact just crazy.After being arrested he was sent back to the real world. He was now only interested in phoenixes however and was shunned. He then proceeded to become a wizard in the real world and took revenge on the bird police and anyone who shunned him. With the bird police out of the way he shacked up with the phoenix and rocked the casbaw every night. At least that's the story" He said to his friends. "I say we go down that well and check this shit out." As they jumped into the well they fell 1000 million feet to their deaths. The old man chuckled and walked away. Then the old man went back home and said to the phoenix "Stupid young  people, everyone knows the portal to the elf world was through my laundry chute..." Brawk yes darling now come to bed rawk"

The end

 

I learned a couple of things while doing this...Or just one. Patsy is obssessed with old men shacking up with phoenixes. I also kept out the last two lines because I went too far with that joke. But yeah that's what we do at Ekos. And we get paid for it! Sometimes, I love my life.

With a vagina ofcourse....
I got the job at bluenotes, I got out of a test, I'm seeing both rent and Harry Potter on wednesday and I got into to that weird modelling thing. They called me marketable, I'm no longer a person, I am a product. I'm not too concerned about that..They also said I was photogenic...LOL Man, Dan-Tam, that was all you!
Lol some of the classes include (you will all love this) *ahem* Peronality Plus Development, Guide to Radiant Skin LOL Model Nutrition...Oh man "Ok now what will you all eat?" "Carrots and celery every day" "NO! You said 'Carrots' Plural, you may only eat one carrot damnit!"
Whatev, have to go into bluenotes today to get their handbook and do some paperwork..ohh!
I'm all excited.
Think I'm going to call to see if I can make a shift at ekos. Get abit of cash next paycheck...
I could really go for some cinnamon toast crunch right now....Damn...

Do I stress you out
My sweater is on backwards and inside out
And you say how appropriate
I don't want to dissect everything today
I don't mean to pick you apart you see
But I can't help it
There I go jumping before the gunshot has gone off
Slap me with a splintered ruler
And it would knock me to the floor if I wasn't there already
If only I could hunt the hunter
And all I really want is some patience
a way to calm the angry voice
And all I really want is deliverance
Do I wear you out
You must wonder why I'm relentless and all strung out
I'm consumed by the chill of solitary
I'm like Estella
I like to reel it in and then spit it out
I'm frustrated by your apathy
And I am frightened by the corrupted ways of this land
If only I could meet the maker
And I am fascinated by the spiritual man
I am humbled by his humble nature
What I wouldn't give to find a soulmate
Someone else to catch this drift
And what I wouldn't give to meet a kindred
Enough about me, let's talk about you for a minute
Enough about you, let's talk about life for a while
The conflicts, the craziness and the sound of pretenses
Falling all around.... all around
Why are you so petrified of silence
Here can you handle this?
Did you think about you bills, your ex, your deadlines
Or when you think you're going to die
Or did you long for the next distraction
And all I need now is the intellectual intercourse
A soul to dig the hole much deeper
And I have no concept of time other than it is flying
If only I could kill the killer
All I really want is some peace man
A place to find a common ground
And all I really want is a wavelength
All I really want is some comfort
A way to get my hands untied
And all I really want is some justice.....


I fucking hate everything right now... That's all I have to say.

Another weekend in Prison. I called I have mono, I am imprisonned once again. Stupid mom, stupid mono. This was supposed to be my healthy weekend. I had plans and now they have been squashed...
FUCK

I want to see Harry Potter god damnit. I don't care who with, I just want to see it. Tonight. Now.. Why is noone around so that I can convince them to see it with me.
I wish I could see it with some estranged friend. That would be cool.
You know what else would be cool? Someone being around so I can go see it....
Also, it would be cool if the clinic wasn't so fucking incompetent.

I had an ok night. You know aside from getting bitched at by someone that I should have crawled out of my sick bed to go to drama. You know when someone is "joking" but you sense truth in it? That's what happened. And that's not just paranoid Laura talking. It went down like this: Laura is going through lines with people on the bus. People start saying Boy: "Oh and then you were there for this right? This random scene where I went like here and here" Laura: "No, I wasn't there" Stupeedo girl: "Well maybe if you hadn't of missed so many rehearsals...." Laura: "I was ill and in bed" SG gives Laura questioning look.. Laura: "Oh ok, I will get up and leave with a fever and half breathing next time just to come to drama." SG: "Well I would." I hate people soooo much.. It's like you have to cough up a lung just to convince people you are sick enough to not be able to do some activity.. or something. I'm just UBER frustrated right now.
I also found out that Bryna went away for the weekend for work. Like I get that it was for work, but she didn't even bother calling me. It's sucks..
Everyone is just gone.
Oh and some dude told me today that he didn't know me but heard stories about how I'm this huge whore who has a bunch of one night stands. People actually really do think that of me. Perfect...
Ugh, I'm tired of everyone....